


Ghosts Chasing Me

by LeonoraChris



Series: Ghosts [3]
Category: NCIS
Genre: Adopted Sibling Relationship, Alternate Universe, Angst, Family, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Kid Fic, Pre-Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-05
Updated: 2014-07-05
Packaged: 2018-02-07 13:15:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1900296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeonoraChris/pseuds/LeonoraChris
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony visits someone special. Flashback goes back to more than 10 years ago, when they met, a little while after he had been disowned in the story 'He's A Good Boy'.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ghosts Chasing Me

**Author's Note:**

>   
>  _The story and any possible original characters are mine.  
>  NCIS, its own characters and canon aren't._
> 
> * * *

The bottle in his hand was starting to feel really heavy and he regretted not letting the cab driver bring him closer. When he had decided to leave the hospital, he had to pull some stunts, but he'd still been under the influence of the good stuff so he had severely overestimated his current condition. While he would officially become NCIS Agent only two months from now, the Director had taken one look at him and his files and ordered him on sick leave, _pronto_. Passing out in the Director's office, with a high fever, certainly did not help his argument that he didn't need any vacation that would last for such a long time, which was why he was now on his way to the airport. Before going there however, there was someone he had to see first.

"Hey there." Tony sat down and stared at the gravestone. It really hurt, even now. "I can't stay for too long this time. I'm going to Italy for a while since I figured it was finally time to meet the better half of my father's family... Sorry I'm late by the way. Work happened and I got hurt, by this really old _stake_ of all things and then I left the hospital AMA. Then I met someone. You know him actually, well not him, but his family. He's _Agent_ Gibbs now. Kind of funny, isn't it? And it's so like me to end up working where you did, although it's called NCIS now. I wonder if I'll be anything as good as you were..."

He ran his hands over the cold gravestone, which felt so wrong since Howard was never cold, unless you were his enemy. ' _Beloved son, brother and a hero_ '. Somehow those words on the gravestone didn't seem enough and to this day Tony regretted how he had missed the funeral back then and his chance to say goodbye. Even if it was because he'd been too hurt and pumped so full of drugs that it was a miracle whenever he knew which way was up and which way down.

"Oh, and then I got my ass hurt too, but I'm not going to share that story though, sorry. And just a couple of days later I _may_ have passed out, but that's debatable. High fever and my chest wound was infected. I was really out of it for days. That's why I missed your birthday."

Tony took a key out from his pocket and showed it to the gravestone. "Someone killed her... Gibbs tried asking behind my back if she could be fixed, but I already knew it would have been too much. Would've needed to completely replace too many things and it just would not have been the same anymore, so I told him it's okay and to just forget it. It was kind of nice though that he even tried."

He started digging a hole in the ground, using the key that used to be his car key. "Don't worry. I've got the other one. We fixed her together so this one should be with you... Anyway. You remember Bolton, right? The idiot cop who arrested me and then wet his pants when he met you. He's still an idiot, but this time I got him into such big trouble that I'm really not sure if he ends up simply losing his job or even faces some jail time... You'd think I've been an idiot myself, for letting him get away with everything for such a long time, but I was an idiot because I kept saving up evidence for the big day, when I could make sure that when he goes down, he stays down... Or if I would have died, then the right people would have found my secret safe deposit box. Always prepare for the unknown, that's what you taught me..."

While digging, Tony kept talking. Some may look at him strangely because of how naturally it all came out of him, as if the dead really was sitting there with him. For Tony, this was the only way to handle losing the most important person in his life. As much as he had loved Jeanne, his brother would always come first. Even in death. So he kept coming to the grave and took care of both Howard's and Howard's father's graves, as often as he could. The old man had died few years after Howard, leaving his humble possession for Tony. Even in death, that family was looking after him... He would've visited Jeanne, but he was already lucky enough her old man hadn't killed him the only time he did ask where she was.

Happy with the small hole, Tony kissed the key and dropped it in there. Done with burying the key, he took the bottle of wine he bought each year. Howard had very good and _very_ expensive taste when it came to wines. Still, he never hesitated when he bought one bottle each year. "Don't give me that look. You know I'm old enough to drink this. Have been for years." Opening the bottle, Tony took a big sip as he always did. What he didn't expect however, was the burning sensation he got when the drink passed his chest area. "Whoa..." He coughed. "Okay... Maybe it wasn't such a good idea..." He poured rest of the wine over the gravestone. "Happy late birthday..."

He stood up slowly, knowing the cab driver would not wait much longer. "You and your father really saved my life, you know... I miss you, brother. I really do. Without you in my life, I would have never had any real and good role model to look up to. You were always the kind of man I hoped to be one day... I really should have taken your name and buried the last memory of my old man... I'll see you again when I return."

With one last look, Tony turned around and left the graveyard. The sound of the wind was to him like someone whispering to him, comforting words and by the time he made it to the cab, he was smiling.

* * *

_**\- OVER 10 YEARS AGO -** _

Howard was humming happily as he stepped out of his car. He was having such a good day and he couldn't wait to tell his father the good news; a promotion. If his mother was alive, she would be so happy, while at the same time making sure this wouldn't turn her son into someone shameful, only for her to turn it back into joy and looks that told him exactly how proud she was.

"Dad?" he called, when he opened the door with his own key, which he hadn't been allowed to return, even after living on his own for over ten years, which was good since he still had a habit of coming and going without letting his old man know in advance. "Dad, you home?" The silence was almost mocking him for asking such an obvious question. He had already seen that his father's car was gone from the driveway, but it simply was his habit to ask the same question each time; a remnant from his childhood and a habit that was hard to break, among few others.

Opening the fridge in the kitchen, Howard frowned when he saw that it was practically empty. The reason why his father wasn't home was pretty clear now. As hungry as he was, he figured he could wait a little longer. Making himself comfortable in the living room, he sat down to watch TV.

When the hours went by and his father still wasn't home by the time it was getting dark, Howard was starting to worry. What if his old man had passed out somewhere or had gotten into a car accident? Or worst of the all possible scenarios; he was dead? Just when his mind was filled with the possible ways one could die, courtesy of his work, Howard finally heard a familiar car driving toward the house. "Thank God," he muttered and relaxed in the couch, not wanting to give his father a reason to think he'd been worrying.

The front door finally opened and Howard heard the sound of shopping bags being carried inside. Then he heard his father talking to someone, "Come on, son. Get inside and I'll make us something to eat. Are you hungry? I'm sure you are."

Howard frowned. "Dad? You have a guest?"

"Howard? I did think I saw your car out there. Come here. I want you to meet someone."

With a sigh, Howard left his comfortable spot on the couch and walked slowly to the front door where his father still was. With a child. A young boy who couldn't be more than ten years old at most. The small thing looked so frightened and he kept his eyes on his hands, which kept playing with some expensive looking shirt he was wearing.

"Um... Hello..?" Howard wasn't exactly bad with children, but he wasn't that good either. He looked at his father with question in his eyes. To his surprise, there was a furious look in the old man's eyes. His father was a kind and gentle man; he wasn't one to have the look of a killer in his eyes.

When the man spoke, there was not a trace of that anger in his voice. "Tony. This is my son Howard. Remember, I told you about him? He's a good man. You can trust him just like you can trust me."

The kid, Tony, simply nodded without looking up, still playing with his shirt. Howard would have thought that he was just being shy, but from the mood that now was in the room, he knew that was not the case. When he looked at his father for an explanation, the man shook his head and mouthed the word ' _later_ ' to him.

"Do you want to take a bath, Tony? You could get yourself warmed and cleaned up. I'll bring you some clothes to wear. Howard should still have some of his old clothes somewhere."

Tony nodded again and bit his bottom lip, like he wanted to say something, but no sound came out when he did open his mouth.

"What is it, son? You can say it."

"Can I... Can I sleep after that..? I'm not hungry..." Tony's voice sounded strained and raspy and he started coughing.

"Of course you can. I'll bring you some medicine as well."

His father left Howard standing at the door as he took the kid to the bathroom. Howard's eyes widened when he saw the back of the kid's white shirt, covered in something that looked like... Blood? Clenching his teeth in anger, Howard picked up the shopping bags and took them in the kitchen. Unpacking them did not make him feel any less anger. When he could sense his father standing behind him, he slammed the fridge door closed. "Who is he, dad? Who hurt him? Did you call anyone about him yet?"

"Son..." His father sounded so tired, like he's had a long and hard day. Turning around, Howard saw that there was a deep shame in the old man's eyes. "That's why I brought him home. So that he wouldn't have to be put in the system. You and I both know how _good_ that is for anyone, let alone a child. He's just twelve years old and—"

" _Twelve_?" Howard croaked. There was _no way_ that boy was twelve; too small and too skinny for his age. If he truly was twelve, then he had to be seriously underdeveloped physically. Who knew what his mental state was.

His father sat down heavily behind the kitchen table.  "He's had a... hard life. I blame myself for not realizing sooner just how bad it was. Thank God that I'm the one who found him wandering on the street. Who knows what could have happened and what kind of people could have found him instead..."

"You know him?"

"So do you. I mean, he was just a baby when you saw him, but you did hold him once."

Something clicked in Howard's mind. "Tony... You mean he's Anthony Junior? DiNozzo?"

His father nodded and Howard joined him behind the kitchen table. While Tony was in the bath, the old man shared the sad tale of Tony, which none of the relatives either knew about or if they did, they kept quiet. Family name that needed to be kept clean and all that. Howard was happy that he was related to Tony through the kid's mom. To share the same blood as that monster had to be a horrible fate.

His father then asked him to treat Tony like a younger brother, because there was no way they would allow the child to be taken from them. Either by Senior or the state; neither option was a safe one for the boy. They couldn't possibly let the already traumatized child live in that corrupt system, to go through even worse nightmares than Senior. Howard promised he would try, but he did way more than that when he got his boss to take care of any and all issues that might try to take Tony from them. Mike Franks had gladly helped.

While having an abused child under your care was a tough task for anyone, Howard was secretly glad his father wasn't living alone anymore. The most shocking result out of this all however was how fond he himself started to become of the kid, even if Tony barely spoke a few words to him and only when he was asked something. Even so, after his each visit at home, Howard noticed how little by little Tony was starting to look more relaxed and he was even becoming less jumpy. It was still a very long road to trust.

The beginning of an actual bond between the new brothers happened in the middle of a night, a few months after Tony came to them.

Howard was recovering from a shooting incident and was staying at his childhood home. He didn't really sleep that night anyway, since he couldn't find that perfect position to sleep, where his injured shoulder wouldn't be in so much pain, and he couldn't keep taking new pills so soon after the last dose. He had resigned having to suffer quietly through the night, until he thought he heard someone crying. Since his father didn't have a habit of even mumbling in his sleep, let alone moving, he knew it was Tony. Forgetting his own pain, Howard jumped out of bed and rushed in the guest room, which was now Tony's bedroom. The small desk lamp was on and Tony was sitting on his bed, hugging a pillow.

"Oh, kid..." Howard sighed, seeing for the first time truly how skinny the boy still was. Instead of asking why Tony wasn't wearing a shirt, he carefully sat on the edge of the bed. "Bad dream?"

Tony nodded and hugged the pillow even tighter. It was almost as if he was seeking comfort from it. Howard found it really hard to not get all teary eyed himself at the sight. He could still faintly remember when his mom had been alive. She would always comfort him and it always felt so nice to be loved and protected like that. Once his mother died, his dad took over. At first in his own awkward way, until it became more natural.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No..."

"It could help if you talk about it."

Tony shook his head. "It's silly."

"Why is it silly? Everyone has nightmares sometimes. Some people have them almost all the time. I do."

That got Tony's interest and he finally looked up with wide eyes, bright from the tears. " _You_?"

"Of course. You remember what dad told my job is, right? Well, my job can sometimes be really scary and I see some really scary things, so I have really bad nightmares all the time. Does that make me silly?"

"No." Tony sounded almost offended at the mere thought of it and Howard smirked. Without realizing it he had wrapped his good hand around the boy, who at first stiffened at the feel of the big and strong arm around him. Another big and strong hand had only brought him hurt and pain, but when nothing happened, Tony found himself relaxing and like a sponge he absorbed the warm feeling he got from the tall man. It was a feeling he didn't have a word for yet, but he had never felt so safe as he did now.

"You want to know how I get rid of my nightmares?" Howard asked and Tony nodded his head with a pleading look in his eyes. Distantly Howard hoped the kid never found out what kind of effect those eyes had on him. With that look on the kid's face, if he would decide to ask Howard to get him the world on a plate for dinner, he would go and get the kid the world on a plate for dinner. Clearing his throat, Howard was grateful his fellow agents were not there to see him, the big badass Agent, acting all soft. "I think happy thoughts. People I love. Good things that have happened to me or someone else. My favorite things. My dreams. What my future wife and kids would look like. I try to imagine my happy father, surrounded by ten grandchildren. I try to imagine the horror when I tell my future wife just how many kids I want. I think about my favorite foods and what they taste in my mouth."

"Food?" Tony stared at him, looking confused.

Howard smirked. "Yeah. Food. I happen to like food very much." And if it came to between the choices of marrying a beauty queen or marrying a woman who could cook well, he'd marry the cook without a second thought. He really loved food. Good food.

Tony just kept staring at him. Again that dangerous, give me the world, look.

"Sometimes I call my dad when I have a really bad dream. Listening to his voice can really calm down the monsters from the dreams. If I'm home, he can hug the bad dreams away."

"Oh..." Tony looked sad and Howard realized why, with a stab of sorrow.

"You know what? I'll give you my phone number tomorrow. Both home and work. Then you can call me when nothing else helps. Okay?"

"Okay," Tony agreed softly. When Howard wasn't saying anything, he hesitated before asking quietly, but only after the man nodded his head encouragingly. It really shouldn't be this hard to get the kid to speak out, without looking for a sign or a spoken approval that it was okay. "What else?"

"What else? Ah... And sometimes I fill my brains with the most boring stuff I can think of, until I fall asleep and have my mind filled with some math equations or a boring book. Once I decided to count numbers as far as I could. I still don't remember how far I got, but that night in my dream I was in a math class. The bad guy from my previous dream held me as a hostage and made me do math homework." Howard laughed at the memory. Truthfully for him that dream had been just another nightmare, but the kid didn't need to know it. Just like he didn't need to know that there were certain things in his line of work and with the nightmares they brought, that no tricks could help to scare them away. Hopefully the boy never had to find that out.

"What I'm saying, Tony, is that when you really put your mind into it, you can manipulate your dreams. However, it will work much better when you share them with someone. It's not healthy to keep bad things inside your head. That way they have a power over you."

The thought seemed to scare Tony and he moved closer to Howard.

"Talk to me. I promise I won't share your dreams with anyone, unless you tell me to."

"Senior..."

Howard clenched his teeth at the mention of the old man. He had seen few times the old and newer scars on Tony, a few times too many, and it had been so hard to not just run off to kill the man. Life for a life. The way he saw it, the man had stolen Tony's life from him. His childhood. His innocence. And it was still too early to know if the kid would ever learn to be like a normal _happy_ child. His only comfort was knowing that people like Senior had a special place in hell, just waiting for them.

"He... It wasn't really a dream... More... More like a memory of what happened..."

Howard listened with a quiet fury, as Tony recounted his dream to him. He swore in his mind that as soon as he returned to work, he would ask Franks for a permission to start looking for anything that could possibly lock away DiNozzo Senior for good. He would do it next to his own work of course. And if his boss wouldn't give his permission, then he would find a way to do it without permission. Although he'd much rather not turn to some other sources for help if he could help it, but he would for Tony.

By the time Tony had finished sharing his dream, he was asleep. Even in his sleep he was seeking comfort from his surrogate brother, which Howard gladly gave him and despite how much pain his uncomfortable position put him through, he fell asleep with his arms full of the small boy who had completely stolen his manly tough guy's heart. Possibly even more than his father's. Before the sleep completely got him, Howard made up his mind to spend rest of his sick leave trying to get the boy start eating properly. The kid needed desperately some meat over his skinny little bones so that he could start growing properly.

As the years went by and both Tony and the bond between the brothers grew, the nightmares never completely went away. But now they both had someone to talk to. Someone who was just a phone call away.

_**The End** _


End file.
